Graduation Speakers and Speeches
Tis the season for graduation!
Spring and early summer is a time for recreation, weddings, and graduation ceremonies, not necessarily in that order.
We live in a very ceremonial society. We love a reason to get together to celebrate. If you’re involved in education as I am then graduation events are not to be taken lightly.
Lets see, there’s Pre-School, Kindergarten, 1st Grade, 8th Grade, High School, Jr. College, College, and Post Graduate, just to name a few. I’m going to have to get an additional job just to pay for all the graduation announcements I receive annually. It is hard to keep up with them.
And I haven’t gotten around to making reservations for the spring wedding circuit yet. My employer needs to reimburse me ceremony pay.
Oh, did I tell you about my daughters’ sixth grade graduation? She didn’t know either until about a week prior to the event. I never realized that getting out of the 6th grade required that significant amount of academic achievement. But then again I’m old school. There was no pre-school when I was a kid. Kindergarten and whatever grade you want to pick had no graduation ceremony. I must have gotten cheated!
But I thought that everyone graduated from high school, and should! Getting through those years, academically, wasn’t terribly difficult. Showing up certainly helped.
Does anyone ever remember what the featured speaker ever says at graduation? The only thing I can recall a graduation speaker saying was at my high school ceremony. He stated that he didn’t expect anyone to remember anything he was about to address the class of 75 about. He was wrong! Thirty two years later I still recall him making that statement. But I don’t remember anything else.
If I ever receive an invitation to speak to the following graduating groups I’ll leave them with some influential and lasting words of wisdom that I’m sure they’ll hold dear and carry throughout life:
Pre-School: ” Always empty your bladder before entering the classroom!”
8th Grade: “Get involved in as many extra-curricular activities as possible during your high school years. For the next 6-8 years you’re going to experience change at an accelerated pace, faster than at any time in your life. Hang in there, acne is temporary.”
High School: ” Now that you are officially cool, high school graduating seniors, you no doubt have answers to questions that have yet to be addressed. Your achievement today is proof that ‘you didn’t get left behind!’ If you’re now entering the American work force get your resume in shape and find an employable niche that you like, you’re good at, and can make a living at. If you’re going to college, get focused, organized, go to class, and keep up on your student responsibilities daily. If any of you become millionaires you’ll earn it and benefit from some timely breaks and assistance along the way. Most of you will live month to month.”
Jr College: ” Now that you’ve been the beneficiary of two free years of college it will be imperative that you adjust your lifestyle and focus upon enrolling for your first class at a four year college/university. It’s called Accountability 101. I would advise you to pay special attention to your upcoming student in- service orientation and to seek guidance from student services upon learning that life isn’t fair. Class attendance will be vital to your overall academic achievement and graduation goal if, in fact, you have a goal. I also encourage you to approach and interact with your professors in a semi-literate and respectful manner.”
College: “Congratulations! You’ve attained a level of academic achievement that most gave up on years ago. You’ve weathered the same storms as the person sitting next to you and overcame similar fears and uncertainties. It doesn’t make you better people than non-graduates but your lives are blessed and enriched for having experienced and stayed the course. This graduation ceremony finalizes, for many, the conclusion of a dream and affords you an advanced academic degree that can never be revoked. It delivers to you an invitation to personal success and fulfillment.”
Post-Graduate: “Anyone at this ceremony tired of school and being broke?”
Obviously graduation isn’t the same for everyone. Should you ever need a graduation speaker and speech that no one will ever remember please send me an invitation!
Help a kid smile today! It’s a Win, Win!
Ike
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